What if your partner or friend wants to change their body?

Written by: Angelica Guadalupe, Intern

Is there someone in your close personal life that may not understand intuitive eating or how toxic diet culture can be? Remember it’s nothing personal, but I understand it can become frustrating.

            Many people have a partner like this. They might say things like “I need to lose weight..” “I feel so fat” or “we really need to start eating better!” As you’re trying to better your relationship with food and your body, these comments could hurt your feelings. (it’s normal!)

First, let's understand WHY they are saying these comments

●      They are insecure themselves

●      They grew up in a household where everyone dieted

●      They associate size with health

●      They label food as good and bad

            This may sound familiar because you may have experienced some of these things listed as well. It is so important to talk to your partner about this and be as open as you can possibly be. Try to explain your journey of bettering your relationship with food and your body, and how it may even benefit them as well!

Here are some phrases you can say to your partner to help them understand the effects of their words and how to introduce them to rejecting diet culture:

●      “I feel hurt when you say you feel fat because fat is NOT a feeling. If you’re feeling insecure or upset, it’s better to use those words, so we can talk about it.”

●      “Because you are enjoying cake does not mean you need to start eating better. It is ok to enjoy cake and satisfy your cravings.”

●      “Why do you feel like you need to lose weight? The WHY behind it is so important. Changing your appearance doesn’t boost your confidence, but how you treat yourself does.”

●      “By stating ‘we should do this’ or ‘we should do that’ implies that we don’t really want to do it. Listening to our cues and our bodies will be more beneficial to our overall health.”

            Now, these are just general statements, but can be great starting topics. By this, I mean a bigger conversation can follow after these phrases. Expanding on your thoughts, and giving each other feedback is great! Lots of people who grow up around dieting don’t even realize what they’re saying could be completely false or just harmful. It is not their fault! The first step to creating a more positive environment around this is to talk about it. Communication is always key and will help in the long run.