Toxic Phrases

Written by: Angelica Guadalupe, Intern

“I’m hungry, but I ate too much today, so I can’t have any more” may translate to your child as “I need to earn my food, or else I can’t eat more.”

“I’m so fat, I need to start eating better!” may translate to your child as “There are only certain foods that are ok to eat or else I will get fat.”

“I will only buy that dress if I lose weight!” may translate to your child as “Some clothes will only look good on me in a smaller body.”

            If you do not have children, saying these toxic phrases will translate in your own brain the same way. If you tell yourself you can’t buy a dress until you lose weight, your mind will translate that into: I don’t deserve to wear a dress until I am in a smaller body. 

            These thoughts are very much rooted in fatphobia. Fatphobia is the fear of gaining weight, or being fat. If your daughter gained weight, and told you she’s not going to eat anymore, how would you react? Naturally, you would comfort her and tell her she needs to eat to nourish her growing body. We know it’s normal for bodies to change, but sometimes forget that when it comes to our own body.

            Practice changing those toxic phrases to positive phrases, so that you and your children can grow up in a healthier environment where they won’t have these thoughts stuck in their heads by adulthood.

Here are examples of some positive phrases:

“I am craving donuts. Let's grab some before lunch today to satisfy my craving!”

“I want to start adding more vitamins and nutrients into my meals! What’s your favorite vegetable for dinner tonight?”

“This dress doesn’t fit me, but it’s fine! Let me see if they have a bigger size.”

If you’re used to diet-talk from a young age, this may be hard for you to do. With time and patience, you can change your language! When those intrusive thoughts come in about dieting or your body, try to take a second to think about what you’re going to say. Will this affect me negatively? Will this affect my child negatively? If yes, then try to think of a positive phrase that will change the behaviors in the household.